Forget Me Not
by DrawnToDarkness
Summary: The beetle incident has far reaching consequences. Can Jess be saved again or is it time to say goodbye?
1. Chapter 1

Title: Forget Me Not  
Author: Drawn to Darkness  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Jess/Becker (background Abby/Connor, Emily/Matt)  
Summary: The beetle incident has far reaching consequences. Can Jess be saved again or is it time to say goodbye?  
Disclaimer: Primeval and its characters are not mine. I wish they were, then I'd do whatever I had to to guarantee a series six. (PS. ITV haven't _officially_ cancelled the show so dropping them a message to say you're still interested wouldn't go amiss!)

Author's note: This is not Milestones II, obviously. I've started it, but then this idea appeared out of nowhere and did jumping jacks in front of me until I agreed to write it. Really. Milestones II (or the fluff-fest, as I'm calling it in my head) will appear in the not-too-distant future.

Author's Note 2: Just want to say from the start that if and when I write a character death story, there will be a warning at the beginning for all those wishing to avoid it. As there isn't such a warning at the beginning of this story... Well, I'll let you draw your own conclusions ;)

Author's Note 3: Given Matt's knowledge of the beetles, I'm assuming they're from the future even though Connor called them prehistoric in the actual episode. My brain just got confused somewhere along the way.

Dedicated in the memory of J&BP and DR.

* * *

The first time she felt unwell, Jess put it down to stress. It happened after a bad anomaly alert, when one of the ARC soldiers had died and two more were injured. She'd been sitting in her chair at the ADD for three hours straight, tense and terrified, watching and directing as the team dealt with a Spinosaurus baby and its very overprotective mother.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the dinosaurs were finally detained and sent back through to their time with the anomaly locked behind them and stood, intending to stretch her aching muscles and get herself a fresh cup of tea.

Less than thirty seconds after standing, she found herself clinging to the back of the red chair as the room swam dizzily in front of her. She closed her eyes and willed the room to stop spinning, forcing herself to take deep breaths to calm the sudden racing of her heart.

It was over in a matter of minutes and, as she was alone, Jess decided to blame it on the events of the previous three hours and the fact she'd skipped lunch.

The second time it happened, Jess was at home, completing her night time routine. The flat seemed so quiet without Abby and Connor and, even though it'd been three months since they'd moved out into a place of their own, Jess couldn't help but wonder if she'd ever get used to living alone again.

Shaking her head to rid herself of the melancholy thoughts, she started towards the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. She was halfway up them when her stomach began to churn. Making it to the bathroom just in time for the pasta she'd made for dinner to put in its reappearance, Jess waited for the nausea to pass before attempting to get to her feet. She wrinkled her nose at the aftertaste in her mouth, brushed her teeth and used the mouthwash to try and get rid of it.

Taking a glass of water, she went to bed feeling sorry for herself. The following morning, feeling okay, she told herself it was a mild stomach bug and left for work as usual.

The third time it happened, Jess couldn't pretend she was okay. She'd been sitting in Lester's office, halfway through an explanation of the update she hoped to run on the ARC's internal monitoring systems when it suddenly felt like there was an elastic band around her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs.

"Jess?" Lester stood from his chair, alarm flashing in his eyes momentarily.

Pressing a hand to her chest, Jess told herself to stay calm and inhaled deeply. Exhaling wheezily, she lifted her gaze to her boss, mild panic beginning to dawn in her eyes. "Can't… breathe."

"I'd noticed," Lester muttered drily, grabbing the phone on his desk as he moved around to crouch in front of her. "Send a medic team to my office. _Now_. Miss Parker is having breathing difficulties."

The order given, Lester hung up. Jess tried to give him a reassuring smile when he hesitated reached out and put a hand on her arm and found herself being both pleased and disappointed that the main team were out on a training exercise instead of in the ARC. While she didn't want anyone to worry or fuss over her, she thought that the presence of the people who'd become her closest friends might help keep her calm.

In less time than she thought possible, two medics burst into the office. Kevin Oliver and Jane Robson took one look at her and their eyes widened. Kevin reached for his comm. link while Jane dropped to her knees beside Jess's chair, expertly unwinding the tube of the oxygen mask on the small tank she'd brought with her and affixing the mask around Jess's head gently.

"You haven't come into contact with anything you're allergic to, have you, Jess?" Jane looked at her in open concern while Jess shook her head. The medic reached out and felt for Jess's pulse, her eyes narrowing in concentration. "Pulse is a little irregular."

"They're bringing up a wheelchair," Kevin reported after finishing his conversation over the comms. Turning to Jess, he gave her an encouraging smile. "Don't worry, Jess, we'll get you sorted out."

Cringing at the thought of being taken from Lester's office in a wheelchair, Jess shook her head. Breathing was beginning to get easier so she lifted a hand to remove the mask from over her mouth. "I can walk," she said quietly, her voice a little too weak for her liking. "It's easing."

The medics didn't look convinced, nor did Lester.

"I'll walk with you to the medical bay but really, I'm fine. They don't need to bring a chair or anything." Jess gave them her best attempt at a bright smile and was rewarded when Kevin, reluctantly, cancelled the request for assistance after a grudging nod of agreement from Lester.

"We'll give you a few more minutes and then we'll go." Jane stayed on the floor at Jess's feet, studying the brunette Field Co-ordinator. "Have there been any other symptoms? Have you noticed anything else that may help us pinpoint what's going on?"

"I felt dizzy a few days ago," Jess admitted after a stern look from Lester. "I probably just stood up from the chair too quickly. And I was sick the day before yesterday. I was fine in the morning so thought it was just a stomach bug or something I ate disagreeing with me."

"You could be right," Jane agreed, exchanging a quick glance with Kevin. "But I think we'd all feel better if we ran a few tests, just to be on the safe side."

Lester nodded his agreement before Jess could protest. "The last thing we need is an epidemic on our hands. The paperwork involved in securing cover for sick leave is atrocious."

Jess bit back a smile, seeing the concern behind his gruff tone. "Okay, but I don't want anyone knowing."

By anyone, it was clear she meant the main team – two former flatmates who were also close friends, a woman from the past who'd become like an older sister, a man from the future who'd become like an older brother and the Head of Security, who, ever since the incident involving the beetle incursion, had a tendency to treat the Field Co-ordinator like she was made of glass.

The medics agreed instantly, bound as they were by patient confidentiality. Lester took a little while longer, his reluctance to go along with her request obvious.

After five minutes of breathing slowly though the oxygen mask Jane replaced over her mouth, Jess felt confident that she could stand without falling over. She was helped by the medics, who flanked her as they made their way slowly but steadily from Lester's office towards the medical bay.

Jess didn't think the ordinarily short journey had ever taken so long before and felt out of breath and exhausted by the time they got there. She accepted Jane's help gratefully and climbed onto one of the beds, lying back at the medic's gentle urging. As Kevin left to summon the doctor on duty, Jess felt her eyes slide shut and promised herself she'd just rest for a moment or two.

The Field Co-ordinator was sound asleep when Doctor Richards arrived five minutes later to confer with the two medics, and stayed that way as the first of many tests were carried out by the concerned medical team.

* * *

Being summoned to the medical bay was unusual but, as she'd been expecting it every day for the last week, Jess was unsurprised. She left the ADD in the capable hands of one of the technicians she'd begun training to cover for her and made her way to Doctor Richards's office.

He was going to tell her she was fine, Jess told herself, a bounce in her step as she thought of finally being able to put her own mind at ease. She'd woken up that morning feeling full of energy – almost buzzing with it, in fact. Her body felt like she'd downed a couple of shots of pure caffeine and she'd been riding the high all morning, using it to catch up on all of the little things she'd fallen behind on due to her numerous visits to the medical bay.

The bright smile on her face faded a little when she got to the doctor's office only to find Lester was already there but she told herself that didn't mean anything. As her boss and as one of the few people who knew she'd been unwell, it made sense for him to be called when she was given the all-clear.

His appearance, however, when coupled with the expression on Doctor Richards face made it difficult to cling onto the optimism she'd woken up with. The man looked like he'd aged overnight; his expression one that Jess was uncomfortably familiar with. It was the same expression she'd seen on the faces of her mother's doctors, the one that said they had bad news but were trying to think of a positive spin to put on it.

"Take a seat, Miss Parker." Doctor Richards' tone was kind but left her in no doubt that it was an order rather than a suggestion.

Jess did as she was told, glancing at Lester as she sat in the spare chair. Her boss wouldn't or couldn't look at her, and that made something tighten in her chest.

"Now, Miss Parker, as you know, we've been monitoring your condition over the last week and have ran several tests and scans." Doctor Richards spoke, his calm voice washing over her. "I've reviewed the results and it seems..."

She listened intently but later would only be able to recall every one in three words that the doctor had spoken. Luckily for Jess, Lester was able to digest the news quickly and ask questions the Field Co-ordinator knew she should be asking herself.

Questions that got answers neither were pleased with.

Her organs were failing, her body fluctuating between being in a state of anaphylactic shock and being overrun by the adrenaline it was producing in an attempt at coping. The symptoms she'd been experiencing had felt familiar but, as she'd had no insect bites and hadn't so much as seen a creepy crawly anywhere near her since the incident at the ARC, Jess had wrongly dismissed the fleeting thought.

It seemed, Doctor Richards explained, that her encounter with the beetles was to blame for her condition and that her encounter with them had left a lasting legacy.

"You can treat her condition, though," Lester said rather than asked, an eyebrow arched when the doctor looked at him.

"We can treat the symptoms of the anaphylaxis but it isn't a long-term solution," Doctor Richards answered slowly. "We can monitor Miss Parker closely and ensure there is always epinephrine on hand to counteract it but I can't guarantee how long we will be able to do so. The blood tests we've done in the last week have shown that her condition is progressing, almost like a virus. We can't fight it indefinitely and then there's always the possibility that treatment may lead to an overdose of adrenaline, which, as I'm sure you understand, could have fatal consequences."

"So I'm dying." Jess lifted her gaze from where she'd been staring in stunned silence at her clasped hands. "Is that what you're saying?"

"Unless we're able to find a way to reverse it, yes, I'm afraid it's a likely possibility. The human body is simply unable to cope with the strain of going from one extreme to the other. I believe that, while we can treat your condition in the short term, without a permanent solution..." Doctor Richards looked at her gravely. "I am sorry, Miss Parker, truly I am."

"What kind of solution are you talking about?" Lester's eyes narrowed as he glared at the doctor, almost as if the man sitting opposite them was to blame. "What can be done?"

"Without a living specimen of the beetle, not a lot. I'm sorry, Mr Lester. As I said, Miss Parker's body is reacting as though it has been exposed to a virus. When she was bitten by the insect, it injected its venom into her. While not toxic to those who have a natural resistance, because of Miss Parker's existing allergy, its venom is behaving like a slow acting poison. I believe that if we had a living specimen, we may be able to isolate whatever it is in the venom causing Miss Parker's body to react in this way and thus reverse engineer an antidote but without a living specimen to extract it from..."

"I'm going to die," Jess murmured, finishing the doctor's grim line of thought. "How long do you think I have? And how... How will it happen?"

"There's no way I can confidently answer..."

"Will it be gradual or sudden?" Jess pressed insistently. "Am I likely, in your professional opinion, to fade away slowly or drop down dead without notice?"

"I would theorise - and it's only a theory, I'm afraid, given the lack of information we have to work with, that it would be the former, Miss Parker. It is possible, of course, that an overdose of adrenaline could cause your heart to fail but I think it's more likely that your body will slowly succumb to the anaphylaxis. You will experience moments of heightened awareness due to surges of adrenaline but, as your body's resistance grows weaker, I suspect you'll find yourself feeling increasingly tired, dizzy, short of breath..."

"So it's going to be like a drawn out allergic reaction." She didn't phrase it like a question, an eerie acceptance descending over her. "How long would you say I have before I start to deteriorate? Just an estimate, doctor; I appreciate the difficulties you have in making accurate predictions in this situation."

Doctor Richards sighed deeply. He took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Given the differences in the samples we've taken over the course of the last seven days, I can only say your condition has already begun to deteriorate. You may feel better today but I can almost guarantee it won't last."

"How long until my body gives in completely?" Jess held his gaze with a steely stare. "If you've noticed a difference already, you should be able to work out...?" She saw the answer on his face even as he opened his mouth and felt a dull ache in her chest. "That bad?"

"If the allergens continue attacking your system at their current rate, I'd say you have no longer than a month. I'm so sorry, Miss Parker. There are some treatments we could try but..."

"But they would only be prolonging the inevitable," Jess finished softly. She got to her feet after a moment, surprised that her legs were steady enough to hold her weight. "If that's all, I think I'll go back to work."

Lester stood, too, his brow furrowed. "Wait a minute, Jess. Surely it's worth discussing what options you have...?"

"There are no options unless a living beetle magically appears in the ARC and I was kind of hoping I'd never have to see one of them again." Jess's smile was sad but her shoulders were squared determinedly. "I'm not interested in drawing this out any longer than necessary, Lester. It's not fair, not to me or anyone else."

She slipped out of the room quietly, aware of the heavy silence she left in her wake. Instead of heading for the hub and the ADD, Jess made her way to the locker rooms. She checked it was empty before securing the door and sliding down it, tears slipping down her cheeks.

* * *

_I seem to have developed a thing for putting Jess through the emotional wringer... I'd apologise but, well, it's kind of fun. ;)_


	2. Chapter 2

It didn't surprise Lester that Jess disappeared for an hour after the doctor's announcement nor did it surprise him when, pale-faced and withdrawn, the Field Co-ordinator knocked on the door to his office and entered, shutting it behind her when he called for her to come in.

"Take a seat." Usually, he'd let her decide whether to stand or sit but, given the pallor of her skin and his knowledge of her condition, Lester wasn't going to take any chances. If he was honest with himself – and if it was up to him in the first place – Jess would be resting in the medical bay while the team of doctors working for the ARC did everything they could to reverse her condition. "We need to discuss what our next steps should be. Obviously, the team need to be informed..."

"No. They don't." Jess interrupted, quietly but firmly. She sat down in the chair opposite his desk and clasped her hands in her lap. "I don't want them knowing. It'll only distract them."

"I know they're not the most observant bunch at times but I'm certain they'll notice you're... not quite yourself," Lester finished awkwardly.

A ghost of a smile flickered over her lips. "They won't, because I won't be here for them to notice anything's wrong." She looked up from where she'd been staring at her hands. "I'm handing in my resignation, and would like to request that I be given permission to use my annual leave allowance in lieu of working notice."

Lester stared at her in stunned silence for several moments. "You're leaving?" He asked eventually.

"I'm dying," Jess reminded him calmly. "And it'll be easier for everyone if none of you have to witness it."

"You expect us to let you die alone?" Lester's jaw clenched reflexively. The young woman sitting in front of him had become part of the ARC family – part of his family – no matter how much he tried to pretend otherwise and act like he didn't care about those who worked for him. What she was suggesting, what she was asking... It was ridiculous. It was like she was giving up...

"I'm asking you to let me handle this my way." Her smile was sad, her eyes soft. "I know what it's like to be the one watching someone you care about slowly slip away and it's not something I'd ever wish on anyone else. It's not how I want to be remembered."

Lester's eyes closed for a moment, understanding dawning. "Your mother. She died when you were a child."

"By the end, she wasn't my mum anymore. She was a shell, and she hated it. She knew what it was doing to us but she was powerless to change it." Jess swallowed the lump that rose in her throat. "Even now, when I think of my mother, I see her lying in her bed in her room at the hospice, pale and weak and wasting away. That's the first picture of her that comes into my mind whenever someone mentions her and I have to really concentrate to remember how she used to be. Before. That's now what I want for the people around me. I don't want to be remembered for how I died; I want to be remembered for being alive."

Lester nodded slowly, remembering the family history detailed in Jess's personnel file. Her mother had died of cancer when she was fifteen; her father had followed two years later, drowning his grief in the bottom of a bottle and causing the premature end of his own life. The young woman sitting in front of him had been taken in by distant relative for a few months but had moved out into her own flat at the age of eighteen. There was no one else, according to her file. No family to support her, to mourn her or miss her.

No one but those at the ARC, the team she was so determined to protect.

"What are you going to tell them?" Lester asked quietly. "They won't believe you've simply decided to quit."

It was true; everyone at the ARC knew how much she loved her job – and how good she was at it. She was quick, clever, conscientious and quite obviously didn't trust anyone else with the safety of her team. No one would believe she would chose to leave them willingly, not without knowing the real reason behind the decision.

"I thought I'd tell them I'm just going on holiday for a while. Then, when I've left, I'll send a letter or something. I know that might sound cowardly or cruel but it's the least painful way I can think of. I can't ask you to tell them – that wouldn't be fair – so a letter is really the next best thing, I think." Jess bit her lip and shrugged a shoulder. "I've always hated goodbyes. I'm not very good at them. I never understood why they're called goodbyes when there's never anything good about them."

Agreeing silently, Lester could only stared at her. "When... when do you plan on leaving?"

"Tomorrow." She tightened her grip on her hands, her nails digging into the flesh of her palms. "If Doctor Richards is right, this could start getting really obvious, really quickly. The sooner I leave, the better."

"They'll want to follow you. Once they get your letter," Lester murmured, easily imagining the reactions of his people. "They won't be willing to let you go so easily."

"If they don't know where I am, they won't have much choice." Jess blinked back the moisture that shone in her eyes and Lester was alarmed to find his own eyes began to sting. "I won't put anyone through what I went through. If that means not telling anyone where I am and facing this alone, then that's what I'll do."

To spare her friends, she would. Lester cleared his throat and busied himself shuffling papers on his desk until he was confident he could hold onto his composure. "I suppose there's no talking you of this? No changing your mind?"

"No. None." She didn't hesitate, lifting her gaze to his. "There's no hope of this having a happy ending so the sooner it's over, the better for all of us."

He wanted to argue, an image of Jess fading away on her own flashing through his mind, but kept that opinion to himself. He shuffled a few more sheets of paper into folders and resisted the urge to get the bottle of whiskey out of his bottom drawer, promising himself there'd be time for that later. When Jess was... When she'd left his office.

"I'll make the arrangements," he said eventually, looking up from his desk. "If you're absolutely certain that this is what you want."

"What I want doesn't come into it," Jess answered honestly, getting to her feet and swaying ever-so-slightly. "But I'm certain this is what I have to do."

Lester disagreed but nodded regardless. He stayed sitting as Jess left his office, watching through the glass wall as she crossed the hub and took her seat at the ADD as though nothing was out of the ordinary. He watched as the team returned and assembled around her desk, all happy smiles and teasing grins. He watched them interact with her, saw the open affection on all of their faces. He'd once told her she was the hub of the whole operation and he hadn't lied. Watching them, he wondered if she realised she'd somehow managed to become the heart of the ARC family, too.

Lester watched them and reached for his whiskey, dreading what their reactions to losing her would be.

* * *

Lying to them was one of the hardest things she'd ever done, second only to having to say goodbye without making it obvious that it was goodbye forever.

"All set for your holiday, Jess?" Turning in her chair, Jess found Abby and Emily standing behind her, both wearing bright smiles. "Where is it you're going again?"

"Just out of outside of the city," Jess answered vaguely. "It'll be nice to get away from the noise and bustle for a while."

"I am sure you will enjoy it." Emily looked almost envious. "It is very last minute, though Abby has explained that last minute deals are often better bargains than planning in advance."

Silently thanking Abby for unwittingly adding a convincing layer to her cover story, Jess smiled and gave a small nod before turning back to the ADD to put it in standby mode. Her hands shook a little but she wasn't sure if it was caused by the venom spreading through her body or the thought of never sitting at her desk again. "It was a last minute decision," she said after a moment, turning away from the ADD for what she told herself was the last time. "I can't remember the last time I went on holiday."

She could, actually, but didn't want to dwell on it. Her last holiday had been the summer before her mother had died, a family trip to the house on the beach in Cornwall where her parents had spent every summer since getting married. It was the very house she'd rented for the next month, recalling how at peace her mother had seemed there and hoping it was something she would feel herself.

"We'll miss you," Abby said sincerely, moving to hug Jess when the Field Co-ordinator got to her feet. "Send us a postcard, won't you? It's been ages since I got one of those."

"They don't seem to be popular anymore," Jess agree quietly, stepping willingly into the embrace. She wrapped her own arms around Abby and found herself blinking back tears. "Take care of yourselves... while I'm gone."

"We will do our best." When Abby stepped back, Emily moved forward. There was a flicker of concern in the Victorian's dark gaze as if she'd noticed the tears in Jess's eyes but she chose not to comment on it. "With a bit of luck, there will be no anomalies while you're gone."

Jess laughed, a little humourlessly, knowing it was unlikely – impossible, even, given the length of time she would be away. She hugged Emily as enthusiastically as she had Abby, reluctantly breaking away to look at the women who'd become the closest female friends – the closest thing to sisters – that she'd ever had or ever would have. There was so much she wanted to say, so many things she felt they should know... Forcing those thoughts away, Jess did her best to fix a happy smile on her face. "Just try to stay safe," she said lightly, "and try to keep the boys from getting into trouble."

"You have met Connor, haven't you?" Abby teased with a grin, her eyes lighting up at the mention of her fiancé. "The best we can do is promise to help him get out of it."

"Good point." Jess smiled but her heart ached. "Just do your best."

"We will. And we will see you soon." Emily's words were soft, her eyes searching. "You'll be back in two weeks, yes?"

Jess smiled but didn't answer. Impulsively, she moved to hug them both at once, taking a deep breath as she lingered in the shared embrace before pulling away.

"Hey, Jess." Connor's voice kept her from having to reply to Emily's question and Jess smiled softly to see the dark haired scientist bounding towards her, Matt and Becker following behind him at a slightly more sedate pace. "We thought we might've missed you."

Jess's smile slipped for a second but was back before anyone could be sure. "Like I'd go without saying goodbye."

"That's what I said." Connor grinned and moved to hug her. "Bring me back a stick of rock, yeah?"

"Rock? She's not going to Blackpool, Con." Abby rolled her eyes affectionately behind her fiancé's back. "That stuff'll rot your teeth, anyway."

Tightening her hold on Connor for a second, knowing he'd feel responsible when he learnt the truth and wishing there was something she could do to spare him, Jess smiled through the pain in her chest when she pulled back. "I'll see what I can find," she said instead of everything that was going through her mind.

"Cool." Connor's grin didn't fade as he let her go and moved to stand beside Abby.

Matt almost immediately took his place and Jess thought she saw a glimmer of suspicion in the team leader's face as he stood in front of her. "Never thought you'd be the type for a last minute getaway," he said casually, raising an eyebrow when she bit her lip. "Not that you don't deserve a little R & R. Just make sure you come back to us, yeah?"

Not saying anything – not knowing what she could say – Jess instead moved silently into his open arms. If Matt held her a little closer than necessary, it didn't necessarily mean that he knew. That's what she told herself as she felt his lips brush against the top of her head. Matt had been one of the first friends she'd made at the ARC, the third team member she'd met after Lester and Becker, but among the first to make her feel like she truly belonged there. Although they'd grown apart a little, first with Abby and Connor's return, then Emily's arrival and the revelation that he'd come from the future to stop New Dawn, he would always have a special place in her heart.

"Don't you people have homes to go to?" At the sound of Lester's voice, Jess stepped out of Matt's embrace. "Honestly, you'd think none of you had ever known someone to take a holiday before."

"Working for you, most of us haven't," Connor retorted with a cheeky grin.

"Yes, well, with an attitude like that, we'll see if your request for time off for a certain honeymoon gets approved." Lester's eyes narrowed but his face remained otherwise expressionless. "Well? Are you all just going to stand there all night?"

Abby put a hand on Connor's arm before he could say anything else to get himself into trouble, giving Jess a warm smile as she dragged her fiancé away. "Enjoy your holiday, Jess, and don't forget the postcard!"

"Or my stick of rock!"

"I hope you are able to relax, Jess, you deserve it," Emily said as she was led away by Matt. Jess smiled softly as Emily's voice continued to drift towards her as the couple left the hub. "Why does Connor want Jess to bring him back a stick and a rock?"

Left alone with Lester and Becker, Jess swallowed the lump in her throat at having to put on a happy front as she said goodbye to them both. Though she'd never tell him, Lester had become something of a parental figure in her eyes and saying goodbye to him, especially when he knew the truth, was going to be difficult.

As for Becker... Of everyone at the ARC, he was the one she least wanted to turn away from, the one she wanted to help her and hold her and stay by her side as everything ended.

"There's some paperwork I need you to sign before you leave," Lester broke the awkward silence. "Your holiday hasn't started yet."

He strode away, disappearing into his office. Aware that he could still see them if he chose and certain that he'd left to purposely give her a moment alone with her Captain, Jess stared down at her hands for a moment before looking up at Becker.

The Head of Security was staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. She saw the same suspicion she'd seen on Matt's face in his eyes, along with something else she couldn't identify. "So where is it you're going?" He asked eventually.

"Just out of the city," Jess murmured, hating herself for not being able to answer directly. "It's just a place I went when I was kid," she added, feeling he deserved something more from her. "I haven't been back in years."

Not since her parents had died and the world as she'd known it had irrevocably changed.

"And you'll be back in two weeks?" He said it casually, as if he was just making conversation. Only the way he couldn't quite hold her gaze and kept his hands in his pockets told her he was genuinely interested and not just passing the time.

She'd become somewhat of an expert in reading Becker's body language and it made her eyes sting to know this would be the last memory of the Captain she'd have, the last conversation, the last time she'd see him or hear his voice.

"Just two weeks," she said eventually, wondering if the tremor in her voice was as obvious to him as it was to her.

From the way he looked at her, Jess suspected it was. But Becker was well-versed in ignoring anything remotely emotion-related and instead gave her a small nod. "Well. Enjoy yourself, and drive safely."

"I will." She managed a small smile. "Take care of yourself. And the others. I mean, I know it's your job but you know what I mean. Be careful."

"And stay warm?" A lopsided smirk curled the corners of his mouth for a moment, his eyebrow quirking.

"Of course." She couldn't fight the blush that rose in her cheeks, wondering if he'd ever forget that moment that still made her cringe. Almost as soon as the thought crossed her mind, she hoped that he wouldn't. At least if he remembered, it meant he wouldn't forget her. "Bye, Becker."

She started to walk towards Lester's office, aware of Becker walking behind her. When she reached the office door, her hand hesitated over the handle and she turned around abruptly, surprising the soldier who'd been about to walk past her on his way out of the building.

Something must have shown on her face because Becker stopped and half-turned towards her, his brow furrowing as he looked at her. "Jess...?"

She didn't respond – not verbally. Telling herself it was her last chance – her only chance – to know what it was like and find out if reality really did live up to fantasy, Jess covered the distance between them. She stood on her tiptoes and lifted her hands, one curling around his shoulder while the other moved to his hair. She leaned up as she tugged his face down, their lips crashing together in an indelicate kiss that was both clumsy and desperate.

She felt more than saw his arms move and fully expected to be forcibly pushed away. She was surprised, then, when he wrapped an arm around her middle, lifting her slightly, while his other hand tangled in her hair. His lips parted hers, deepening the kiss as she melted against him and it went from being something awkward to being something amazing and passionate and strangely _right_.

When it came to a natural end, she kept her eyes closed, her breathing unsteady as he let his forehead rest against hers. She had her answer – reality was_ better_ than fantasy where Captain Hilary Becker was concerned – but she couldn't help but think that maybe that wasn't a good thing.

It wasn't as if anything could come of it, even if she did now have a very strong reason to believe her feelings for Becker were reciprocated, and that was an incredibly, horribly sobering thought that had her reluctantly stepping away.

"I... I have to go... sign some forms." She took another step back, closer to Lester's office. "I... I'll see you. Later."

"In two weeks," Becker said quietly, his voice low and his gaze intense. "Enjoy your holiday, Jess."

Jess didn't answer, forcing a smile instead before turning away, escaping into Lester's office before he could see the tears stinging her eyes.

* * *

_Poor Jess... I know, I'm being a little bit evil. ;) Thank you, as always for the reviews/adds/follows :)_


	3. Chapter 3

Lester insisted on having his driver take her to the beach house. Jess put up a good fight, insisting it was too far away – five hours by car and that was without traffic or stops – but her soon-to-be former boss gave her a stern glare and refused to listen. His point was proven when she stood up and was hit by a wave of dizziness, one that made it impossible for her to deny that driving herself was a bad idea.

She felt terrible about making the driver – a man called Simon – travel so far but Simon insisted quite cheerfully that it was no problem. It was a nice drive, he'd told her, and he preferred to be out on fast roads than stuck in traffic on the overcrowded city streets. Plus, he'd added with a wink, she was far better company than Lester, who wasn't known for his patience and hated being stuck in the car for any amount of time.

When the beach house came into view, Jess's breath caught in her throat. It was exactly as she remembered, right down to the faded blue paint job on the window boxes. It was the only property for miles, situated in a small bay with a small stretch of private beach.

Solitary, sheltered. It was perfect for what she wanted; a quiet place to reflect... and fade away.

She was under orders to report to Doctor Richards twice a day. If she failed to check in, the doctor would call her. If she didn't answer, a medical team from a nearby hospital would be dispatched to the house. Jess shivered at the thought of what that meant but managed a smile for Simon as he carried her bags to the front door.

Two bags of clothes and personal belongings, one full of epi-pens and medical supplies Doctor Richard had insisted on showing her how to use, including a small oxygen tank and instructions on who to contact in the area if she needed it refilled.

Simon left after refusing a tip, and Jess found herself alone with only the sound of the waves lapping the shore and the occasional lonesome call of a seagull for company. She unlocked the door using the key that had been left in a plant pot for her as per the rental company's directions and carried her bags in – one at a time, much to her frustration.

Stepping inside the house was like stepping into the past – without the aid of an anomaly.

She walked through the silent house slowly, remembering evenings sat by the open fire with her parents either side of her, their presence and their words assuring her they'd be fine despite the storm beating at the outer walls of the house. She remembered waking up to the sun streaming through the window, the scent of the sea mingling with the smell of the bacon her father had favoured for breakfast hanging heavily in the air. She remembered being chased to the sea front, giggling madly as her father ran after her, her mother watching from the house. She remembered cuddling into her mum's side on the swinging seat on the porch, a sun-warmed towel and her mother's arms wrapped around her to ward off the chill after an afternoon spent playing in the surf.

She remembered it all, and found herself both longing for the old days and mourning what would never be. She'd always imagined returning to the beach house with a family of her own one day but that dream had vanished the day Doctor Richards had explained her fate.

Wrapping her arms around her middle, she felt a tear slide down her cheek but made no move to wipe it away. Another fell, then another. She stood at the bay window overlooking the beach, silently weeping for what was, and what would never be.

* * *

The letter arrived a week after Jess had left. Lester stared at the front of the envelope, recognising the handwriting that the 'care of' address was written in. He sighed heavily and reluctantly summoned the team to his office, hating that their lives were about to fall to pieces in front of him.

He listened to their easy banter, the teasing between them. Saw the way Becker's eyes rolled at whatever Matt had just said, the soldier's gaze straying to the empty chair at the ADD and guessed it'd had something to do with the absent Field Co-ordinator. He watched them file in and saw the questioning looks on their faces, but said nothing until the door was closed.

"This came in the post this morning. As it's addressed to all of you, I thought you could read it together." Lester was surprised his voice stayed steady, and that his hand remained the same way as he held the still-sealed envelope out to the team leader.

Frowning, Matt turned it over in his hands. His eyes narrowed as he recognised the handwriting but noticed there was no forwarding address. "It's from Jess?"

"Just open it." Lester was careful to keep his expression blank. "I'm sure Jess can explain far more eloquently than I can."

"You already know what it's going to say?" Abby's brow furrowed as she stared at him from the other side of the desk. Her gaze shifted to the envelope as Matt began to open it, shoulders squaring against a shiver. "Why do I get the feeling we're not going to like what she says?"

Lester stayed silently, not wanting to confirm her suspicions.

"Just read it, Matt." The order came from Emily, whose face had gone pale, her hands gripping the arms of her chair as the tension in the office continued to rise. "Tell us what she said."

Matt cleared his throat and unfolded the paper. His eyes scanned the first line and he swallowed reflexively before doing as ordered and reading the carefully written words aloud.

_"I'm sorry this is a cowardly way of saying goodbye but that's never been something I've been any good at. I'm sorry for lying to you, but I honestly feel that a quick, clean break is going to be better for all of you in the grand scheme of things. I am on holiday, so-to-speak, but it's not one I'll be returning from, no matter how much I wish I could. I'm sure Doctor Richards can and will explain it better than I can but the simple fact of the matter is that I'm dying due to a severe, elongated allergic reaction, an unfortunate side effect from our encounter with the beetles. There is no cure, no hope of my recovery. There's nothing that can be done and I don't want anyone of you feeling responsible for being unable to save me – that means you, Becker. And Connor, you are not responsible for this and I swear I will haunt you if you blame yourself. _

_Please forgive me for doing it this way but I have my reasons and I'm sure you'll understand in time that this is for the best. All I ask is that you respect my decision, and try and keep yourselves safe. I wish you all every happiness for the future – and I mean that, I expect you all to be happy, even if it takes a while to get there. Take care of each other for me and know how much your friendship has meant to me. All my love, Jess."_

There was a long silence, followed by five voices all speaking at once.

"Allergic reaction? I thought she was okay."

"The beetles... My anomaly?"

"Jess cannot be dying. I refuse to believe it."

"There has to be something we can do."

"Where is she?"

The last question caused Lester to look up, and he swallowed at the pained determination on the asker's face.

Becker arched an eyebrow at Lester's continued silence, his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the door to the office, deceptively calm and casual. "Where. Is. She?"

Lester cleared his throat, unaccustomed to being on the receiving end of the Captain's glare. "The fact that she hasn't told you and didn't include an address suggests that she doesn't want you to know."

"But you do." It was a statement, not a question. "You wouldn't have let her leave without finding out where she was going."

"I had my driver take her," Lester said eventually. "And Doctor Richards insisted on being able to alert the nearest hospital."

"So where is she?" Becker pushed away from the door, his eyes falling to his sides as he fixed his boss with a hard stare.

"Why doesn't she want us to know?" Emily asked quietly, saving Lester from answering one difficult question – but presenting him with another instead. "Surely she should have her loved ones with her?"

Lester glanced around his office, taking in the confusing and curiosity on the faces around him. "How much do you know about Jess's family background?" He waited for understanding to dawn but was surprised when even Abby and Connor, who'd lived with the Field Co-ordinator for eight months before finding a flat they both agreed on, remained clueless. "About her mother?" He prompted, sighing when no one spoke up immediately.

"I know her mother passed away," Emily said eventually. "We discussed it once near Mothering Sunday. Jess was concerned that I would be missing my other mother," the Victorian explained quietly.

Lester gave a small nod it was something he could easily believe Jess would think of. "Jess's mother died when she was fifteen, after a long battle with cancer. Her father died two years later due to excessive alcohol consumption. Neither death was easy, as I'm sure you can imagine, but watching her mother die in such a way has had a prolonged affect on our Field Co-ordinator. She chose to leave, and not give you an address, because she wants to spare you all from the agony of having to watch helplessly as she leaves us. Having gone through it herself and knowing how it can affect one's memories of the deceased, Jess has decided to keep us from having to suffer as she did."

"That's commendable, but it's not her decision to make." Becker glanced at his teammates, stifling a sigh at the mixed emotions on their faces. "She shouldn't have to go through this alone and I'm not about to let her."

"I understand your reaction, Becker, but we have to take Jess's wishes into account." The tone he used made it clear that Lester disagreed with the absent woman and was reluctant to go along with her plan. "As much as it pains me to say it, I believe she does have a point. Do any of you really want your lasting memories of her to be when she's a shadow of her former self? Wouldn't you much rather remember her as the colourful, often too smart for her own good woman who saved your skins on more than one occasion?"

No one answered at first. Abby's eyes welled with tears and she reached for Connor's hand, her fiancé pale and both grief and guilt stricken. Becker stood motionless, his jaw clenched and his eyes dark and dangerous. Matt and Emily shared a hopeless look, before Matt turned his attention back to Lester.

"There has to be something we can do to help her," Matt said eventually. "If it's an allergic reaction..."

"An allergic reaction to an insect that doesn't exist," Lester pointed out. "Due to her intolerance for insect bites in general, the beetle's venom, while non-toxic and easily neutralised by those of us with a natural immunity, is spreading like a poison through her body, causing it to go into a form of anaphylactic shock that eventually even regular doses of adrenaline won't be able to counteract. I've had our best people working on it since Richards made his diagnosis. Without a live specimen of the beetle, we can do nothing to help her."

"Without a live specimen," Connor repeated, sitting forward in his chair. "What if we got a live specimen? Would they be able to do something?"

"And how would you propose we do that, Mr Temple?" Lester's tone was sarcastic. "Open an anomaly to the right time period and let those creepy crawlies back into the ARC?"

Connor shrugged and nodded. "Exactly. Well, we'd only let one beetle back through, and we'd make sure it was well contained and..."

"And how would we do that? If I recall, last time these bugs were able to eat their way through these wall. Reinforced concrete walls!" Lester reminded him unnecessarily. "Not to mention you no longer have a working anomaly device – and think very carefully about what you're about to say, Connor. You better not be telling me that another of these world-ending devices exists..."

"Not yet." Connor was a touch defensive. "But I reckon I could make one. Just a small one, just big enough to let one of the beetles through."

"It's worth a shot," Matt spoke up, voicing his agreement before ester could continue arguing against the idea. He shrugged at the surprise on his boss's face. "We can take precautions; have a failsafe in place just in case. Ordinarily, I wouldn't agree, Lester, but this is Jess we're talking about. She shouldn't have to die this way, not if there's something we can do to try and stop it."

Lester was quiet for a moment, his expression unreadable. When he spoke, it was with obvious regret. "If I thought for one moment there was a chance you would succeed, I'd authorise it. As it is, it's too much of a risk – and one Jess wouldn't want us taking. Besides, it took Temple months to build his prototype and that's time we just don't have. Time Jess doesn't have."

"How long does she have?" Abby's voice was quiet, her eyes already shadowed by grief. "If not months...?"

"Doctor Richards estimated a month, and that was nine days ago." Lester wished he could close his eyes against the pain on their faces but his position wouldn't allow him that luxury. "I'm sorry. There is nothing we can do for her but remember her the way she wishes us to."

"That's not enough." Becker turned on his heel, stalking towards the door that he pulled open with far more force than was needed. No one tried to stop him as he left, each understanding and sharing the Captain's grief.

Matt looked at Connor, shaking his head slightly when he saw the younger man open his mouth to protest. Confused, Connor closed his mouth but got up from his chair, following Becker out of the room silently. Matt nodded to Lester before following, accompanied by Abby and Emily, the latter of whom gave the Head of the ARC a sympathetic smile as she closed the door behind her.

Lester sat at his desk, staring blindly through the glass at the vacant ADD chair. For a fleeting moment, he found himself hoping the team would disobey him and find a way to beat the odds again but that thought was banished by the voice in his head that told him it would most likely be the end of his career if he did – and the end of the world if they tried and something went wrong.

He didn't know how long he sat there, staring at nothing in particular, before the phone on his desk started to ring, startling him.

With a sigh, he reached out for the receiver, bringing it to his ear. "James Lester." His expression clouded, even as some small part of him wanted to smile. "He did what? Yes, yes, I understand. I suppose it can't be helped, Simon. The Captain can be quite terrifying when he wants to be. Yes, yes, I will. Goodbye."

Hanging up, Lester shook his head.

* * *

_Heeheehee, I wonder which Captain Lester's talking about... ;)_


	4. Chapter 4

"How long will it take?" Standing in Connor's lab facing the door, Matt glanced at the scientist as he moved around, assembling bits and pieces of equipment and piling it on his already cluttered workstation.

"If I've got everything, I could have it done in a couple of days, less if there's no distractions." Connor looked up, his brow furrowed and an intense look of concentration on his face. "There's no guarantee I'll be able to open it to the right time, or that the beetles will come through."

Matt's expression barely changed. "Just build the machine to the same specifications. It should fix on the same point in time."

"What if a predator comes through instead of the beetles? Or what if too many beetles come through?" Emily glanced at the faces of those gathered in the lab. "It is a big risk, one I'm certain Jess would not approve of us taking."

"Luckily for us, Jess isn't here to argue." Matt replied with a shrug. "Besides, we're not taking any big risks. We won't be opening the anomaly at the ARC, and we'll make sure we've got precautions in place for the worst case scenarios."

"We won't?" Abby wrapped her arms around her middle. "Where are we opening it?"

The team leader shrugged again but met her gaze. "That's what we need to figure out while Connor gets to work. We need somewhere small, defendable, preferably a safe distance away from anything or anyone else."

"I'll start searching the Internet," Abby volunteered, glad to have something to focus on. "There has to be something suitable somewhere."

"I will help," Emily murmured, casting a thoughtful glance at Matt before following the blond woman out of the lab.

Connor hesitated, his hands hovering over the equipment he'd piled on his desk. "Are we doing the right thing?" He asked quietly, not sure if he wanted Matt to answer or if he was just giving voice to his thoughts. "I want to save Jess – I do. It's my fault this is happening in the first place but I... The damage this machine could do if the wrong person got hold of it."

"No one's getting hold of it, Connor. We'll use it and then we'll destroy it." Matt's tone was calm but steel-like. "Now what can I do to help?"

* * *

He was too angry to feel guilty, his emotions too raw to let him spare much of a thought for the driver he'd threatened into giving him the address. Becker hadn't even let Lester know he was leaving, just left a quick message with the soldier on duty at the security checkpoint to tell his second-in-command that he was in charge.

He hadn't specified a time-limit on the order and wondered if the soldier had noticed.

A knot formed in the pit of his stomach at the thought of going back to the ARC and what that would mean for Jess. He was under no illusion that he'd be able to change her mind about staying away from the ARC – Jess could be stubborn when she wanted to be and while he was pretty sure she was oblivious to the control she had over him, one pleading look from those big blue eyes of hers and he'd give in to almost whatever she wanted.

_Almost_.

Leaving her before... Letting her die alone wasn't something he would even consider. He didn't care how much she shouted or begged or insisted it was what she wanted; Jess Parker was not going to die alone. He would never forgive himself if he let her. He'd never forgive himself if he left her alone when she needed him most.

He'd hoped the drive would settle his nerves but Becker was annoyed with himself when, as he pulled onto the private drive leading to the address Simon the chauffeur had reluctantly given him, he felt his palms go damp and his heart skip a beat.

It was just Jess, he tried to reason with himself. Jess who he'd known for two years, Jess who he could make blush endearingly and ramble nonsensically with a well-timed smirk or arched eyebrow.

Jess who he'd fallen in love with but never told out of fear he'd break her heart.

It would've been ironic that she was the one breaking his if it weren't so tragic.

The thing that scared him most was not knowing how he was going to react, to both seeing her and to losing her. He'd lost people he cared about before – too many people – but he'd never lost anyone he was in love with.

All too soon, he reached the end of the drive. He slowed the truck to a stop and sat behind the wheel for a few minutes before forcing himself to get out. He paused to grab the rucksack from the backseat, full of clothes he'd grabbed from his flat before he'd set off on the journey to Cornwall, and started towards the front door.

There was no answer to the first knock, or to the second. He lifted his fist to knock again then decided to try the door handle, the frown on his face deepening when he found it was unlocked. All of the protective instincts he had rose to the fore and anger surged in him at Jess's carelessness.

The house she'd chosen was isolated, yes, but that wasn't to say someone wouldn't happen upon the house and let themselves in. A young woman, particularly one in Jess's situation, was vulnerable, an easy target for someone who might want to do her harm.

With that thought in mind, Becker strode into the house, dropping his bag on the floor by the door as he shut it behind him and locked it. He didn't waste much time looking around, just enough to familiarise himself with the layout, making a mental note of all possible entry points as he walked further into the house.

It was bigger than it looked from the outside and he found himself wondering why she'd chosen it. The furnishings were comfortable if not a little out-dated, the decor neutral and pale in colour. Not like Jess, a voice at the back of his head pointed out. It wasn't like Jess at all.

He discovered quickly that the house was empty. There was no sign of Jess in the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom or either of the two bedrooms. He was more than a little relieved that there was at least evidence in the master bedroom that the bed had been slept in. Wandering back through to the living room, he stepped through the double doors leading out onto the porch at the back of the house, all traces of anger fading when he laid eyes on her for the first time in a week.

Jess lay on a swinging seat, a thick blanket pulled up to her chin despite the warmth of the day. Her eyes were closed, her features relaxed, one arm hanging limply, hand outstretched towards a book she'd obviously dropped.

She looked peaceful, calm. Alive.

Quietly, Becker moved towards her, dropping to his knees beside the seat. It was the first time he'd seen her since the unexpected but very welcome kiss they'd shared at the ARC. A kiss that had confused him as much as it had pleased him but at least now he understood the reasons for it.

If he'd been told he was dying, he doubted he could have said goodbye to her without kissing her at least once. He'd have to know how it felt – and have to find some way of letting her know how _he_ felt – before the chance to do so was lost forever.

Becker gave in to the impulse to reach a hand out, fingertips tenderly stroking the smooth skin of her cheek. Jess stirred, her eyelids fluttering. She sighed, still half-asleep, and nuzzled his hand, a soft smile curling the corners of her mouth.

"Jess." He kept his voice quiet, his gaze fixed on her face. "Wake up for me, sweetheart."

Her brow furrowed as if she were protesting but her eyelids opened, sleepy blue eyes locking with intense brown. "Becker?"

"Hey." He cupped her cheek with his hand, stroking the skin with the tip of his thumb. "You and I need to have a serious talk about security when you've had a chance to wake up. Going to sleep with the door unlocked was careless."

"I'm outside anyway," Jess pointed out, her voice soft as though she didn't raise it for fear of breaking whatever spell had settled over them. "And I didn't plan on falling asleep, I was reading..." Her brow furrowed and her eyes cleared. "What are you doing here?" She sat up suddenly, forcing his hand to drop to his side. "How did you find me...?"

"The what should be obvious and I'd rather not talk about the how." Becker made a mental note to apologise to Simon at some point. "You should have told us. You should have told _me_."

"Why?" Her smile was self-depreciating, her eyes dark with acceptance. "There's nothing you or anyone else can do, Becker, and I'd rather you not be here to watch me die."

"What if I don't think that's your choice to make?" He countered, getting to his feet only to sit on the seat beside her. "Do you really think leaving us would make it any easier?"

"I know it will." Jess broke eye contact, staring instead at her hands, which she clasped in her lap. "I watched my mother die, Becker, I know what that did to me and I saw what it did to my father. If I can prevent you and everyone else from having to go through that, I will."

The resignation in her voice was clear. Becker reached out and covered her hands with his, needing the contact. "I'm sorry for what you went through, Jess, but surely you can see how hard it would be to know you're going through this alone?"

"It'd be better than knowing the lasting impression you have of me is one where I'm not myself." She moved her hands so that she was holding his with both of hers but still didn't look up at him. "My mum was brilliant. She was always so full of life and energy when I was little. There was nothing she wouldn't try if I said I wanted to, and if you think my clothes are colourful, she's the one who's responsible for it all. But despite knowing that, in spite of the hundreds of happy memories I have of her, the first image of her that springs to mind whenever anyone mentions her is of her lying in bed, so frail that she couldn't even hold my hand properly. But her eyes... She was still there. She was trapped in a body that wouldn't do what she wanted and that's what hurts the most. Knowing there was nothing I could do, no way I could help her. By the end, she wanted to die and there's a part of me that's ashamed to say I was relieved when she did."

Becker swallowed the lump in his throat, hating the pain he could practically feel radiating off her. He wished there was a way he could erase it, a way he could go back and change what she'd been through. To do so, however, would be to change the person Jess had become as a result of her experiences and he knew that was something he could never do. "You have no reason to feel ashamed, Jess. It's a normal feeling to have when someone you love is hurting and you can't help them." Turning his hand over in hers, he entwined their fingers. "But can you tell me honestly you'd give up those last weeks with your mum? If you could go back and do it all again, would you chose to stay away or would you spend every second you could with her?"

A tear fell from her eye, splashing onto their joint hands. She shook her head instead of answering, unable to tell him what she wanted to. Becker's heart broke and he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders, drawing her against him as she trembled. She buried her face against his chest and he knew she was crying when he felt her tears soak through the material of his t-shirt.

"I don't want to die." Her words were muffled against his chest. "It's not fair. There's so much I want to do that I haven't had the chance to. I'm not ready to die."

He wasn't ready to let her, but Becker kept that thought to himself. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, willing the tears in his own eyes not to fall.

How long they sat there, he didn't known. He wasn't aware of anything apart from the woman in his arms and the certainty that losing her would be the hardest thing he'd ever had to face.

* * *

_*dutifully hands out the tissues* I do love these characters, really. It might not sound like it but I do.  
_

_Huge big thank yous and hugs to everyone still reading this :)_


	5. Chapter 5

The old bunker was miles away from any populated areas, sturdy and secure despite its age. It was dark and damp but there was a small electric generator that Matt thought could be enough to run the anomaly creating device – assuming Connor managed to build a working prototype in time.

"It's perfect," he said eventually, nodding his approval to Emily and Abby. Both women were quiet, both withdrawn. Already grieving, even though they'd yet to accept the battle was lost. "We'll need to get it ready, increase the capacity of the generator. We'll need to get some C4 – a lot of C4 – and set it up so it can be triggered both from in here and remotely."

"C4?" Abby blinked, surprise on her face. "Why do we need C4? We're not blowing the place up."

"We're not," Matt agreed calmly. "I am, if this goes wrong and too many beetles come through or something even worse." He shrugged when they stared at him, their jaws dropping. "I told Lester I wouldn't take any unnecessary risks. I meant it. We'll give it a damn good try for Jess's sake but we've only got one shot at this. If it goes wrong, we have to be able to contain the situation."

"And by we, you mean you." Anger laced her tone, caused by hurt and fear, Matt knew, but still he arched an eyebrow at the expression on Emily's face. "Why do you assume you always have to be the one to put your life in danger?"

"Because I'm the team leader," he answered simply, shrugging when she only glared at him. "Because I'm not letting you do it, because Abby won't let Connor and vice-versa. Because Becker is, I assume, with Jess, which is where he should be – where I'd be if it were you and not her in this situation. It's my job, Emily. My responsibility."

"Your responsibility?" Emily's voice rose in both pitch and volume. "You didn't do this. You are not to blame for what is happening to Jess..."

"She's a member of my team. She got hurt under my watch." Because of Burton, Matt remembered a little bitterly, because of Connor's misguided but well intentioned need to finish what he thought Nick Cutter had started. "Jess's safety is my responsibility. Her safety is my priority. And, personally speaking, I'd never be able to forgive myself if I don't do this. If I didn't try."

Emily's dark eyes both shimmered with tears and flashed with indignation. "And you think I can? That we can? Do you think we will just stand by and watch you sacrifice yourself _again_?"

"No." It was Abby who answered, not Matt. The blond woman crossed her arms over her chest, her own eyes luminous as she glanced between them. "We're not arguing about this. It's the last thing Jess would want. She'd rather we call off this whole thing than fall out because of it." When neither of them argued, Abby gave a satisfied nod. "We'll get the place ready. We'll get the C4. But when we do this, we do it together. We face whatever comes through together. And if we all die..." Her voice trailed off and a humourless smile tugged at her lips. "Well, at least we know we died trying to do the right thing."

Matt didn't argue with her but he didn't agree, either. He avoided Emily's all-too-knowing gaze as they continued to make plans, promising himself he wouldn't let anyone else risk their lives if he could help it.

The thought of losing Jess was bad enough; he couldn't risk losing anyone else.

* * *

At some point, she'd fallen asleep again. She must have, because she had no recollection of getting up and going to bed through that was where she found herself. Jess was partly inclined to believe her memories of the previous night were a figment of her imagination but the fact she was lying under the quilt of the bed in the master room, with an unfamiliar weight draped over her waist and a very welcome warmth at her back quickly chased those thoughts away.

Not to mention the faint scent of gun oil and aftershave she knew to associate with Becker lingering on the sheets around her. Her imagination was good but not _that_ good.

"Are you going to pretend to be asleep all morning?" His voice was a low rumble behind her, one she felt as much as heard.

"If I don't, I think you might disappear," Jess admitted quietly, surprising herself with her honesty. Then again, she thought, she had nothing to lose. Dying was good for lowering her inhibitions if nothing else. "I've had this dream before."

He shifted behind her, his hand pressing against her stomach as he did. "That's a conversation we're going to have later," he said eventually, fingers slipping under the material of her top to unthinkingly stroke the smooth skin beneath it.

"Why later?" She didn't want to draw attention to the fact she didn't have much of a later but was curious as to what he was thinking. "There's no time like the present. Not that it's a conversation I'm eager to have, really, but... oh."

During her rambling, Becker managed to get his arm around her, turning her so she faced him instead of the window. The intense look on his face silenced her seconds before he closed the gap between them, pressing his lips to hers in a soft, unassuming kiss. He made no attempt at deepening it, letting her control the pace and the pressure and Jess thought she would have loved him for that alone if she wasn't already crazy about the man.

Lifting a hand to run her fingers through his lovely hair, she tilted her face and parted her lips, pressing herself against him as she tangled her legs with his. Becker held her as close as he could, his body enveloping hers, protecting her, shielding her. Making it possible to forget, if only for a moment, that anything else exited outside of the two of them.

The kiss came to a natural end and they parted slowly. Jess smiled shyly, aware her cheeks were no doubt flooded with as much as colour as they were heat. Becker, for his part, gave her a slow grin that made her shiver but even he, master of hiding his emotions, couldn't disguise the sudden grief in his eyes.

"I wish I wasn't putting you through this," she told him quietly, moving a hand to rest against his chest above his heart. "I almost wish there was a way I could make you forget me, a way to make it so I never existed in the first place."

"Don't." The strength of his voice started her, as did the vehement expression arranging his features. "Never say that, Jess. Never even think it."

"But if I'd never met you, you wouldn't be going through this now," Jess mumbled. "You wouldn't be hurting and I really hate the idea of being responsible for that, Becker, I really do."

"It only hurts because I can feel again." He rolled them over so she was cradled beneath him, his arms supporting his weight either side of her. "No matter what happens, Jess, the only thing I'm going to regret is not having longer with you. For not telling you sooner that I... That you mean so much to me." His eyes were dark, his expression earnest. Becker took a deep breath before continuing. "I love you, Jess Parker. I don't know when it happened but somewhere along the line I fell in love with you and that's not something I'll ever regret or want to change."

It was what she'd wanted to hear for months, maybe years. The combination of his words and the look on his face brought tears to her eyes – both tears of happiness and tears of regret that the timing was all wrong. It seemed like everything was against them; time, fate, the world in general. It wasn't fair and she wanted to scream and shout at the injustice of it one second, curl up in his arms and sob her heart out the next.

"This is usually where you say something," Becker murmured, arching an eyebrow in an attempt at covering his nerves. "Jess?"

She smiled despite the ache in the chest, amused that he could doubt for one second how she felt about him. Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck, drawing him down so she could kiss him sweetly. "I love you, Hilary Becker," she confessed against his lips. "I think I probably always have."

There was a lingering sadness about their embrace, an unspoken acknowledgement that they'd wasted so much time that they could have better spent together. As their kisses intensified, Becker pulled away to catch his breath, gazing down at the flushed woman beneath him.

"We shouldn't..." He dropped his head to the crook of her neck, nuzzling the soft skin and inhaling her scent. "You need to rest."

"I need you." She ran a hand over his skin under his t-shirt, fingernails scoring lightly along his spine until they reached the barrier created by his trousers. "Please, Becker. Even if it's the first and last time we get to do this."

For a moment, she thought he was going to argue. Becker stared down at her, eyes growing darker as they searched hers. Whatever he found in her face must have convinced him as his lips descended on hers again and his hands began to do some exploring of their own.

* * *

Fifty-three hours and countless cups of coffee after Jess's letter had arrived at the ARC, Connor stood back from the device on the workbench in his lab, a sense of anxious accomplishment washing over him.

He'd done it. Again. He'd created a machine that could make anomalies, even after swearing he'd never do it again after the disaster that was New Dawn.

But he didn't have a choice, he told himself. It was an anomaly he'd created that had put Jess's life in danger in the first place. It would hopefully be an anomaly of his making that saved her life, too.

He reached for his mobile, having been instructed by Matt to avoid using the comms. if possible. While they were all reasonably sure Lester was aware of everything they were doing, none of them wanted to put him in the difficult position of having to explain it to the Minister if something went wrong.

"Matt? It's me. I've done it. It's ready."

There was a moment of silence, then a subdued congratulations and a promise that the team leader was on his way. Connor hung up, swallowing the lump that rose in his throat.

Part of him wanted to destroy the machine, knowing exactly how much trouble it could – had – caused. Part of him wanted to turn it on, to test it and see if he could spare the rest of the team from getting into more trouble than they were in already. Or would be, once Lester officially found out what they were up to.

He was glad when the door to the lab opened, relieved not to be left alone too long with his thoughts. Though Matt and Emily came in after her, the only person Connor saw at first was Abby. He hadn't seen her since locking himself in his lab and he eagerly drank in the sight of her before opening his arms when she stepped up beside him.

Holding her for as long as he thought he could get away with, Connor closed his eyes and savoured the sensation of her being so close. He'd almost lost her several times, a lot of them due to his own stupidity, and he couldn't help but be grateful that she was still with him and that she loved him. He remembered that she'd been bitten by one of the beetles, too, and sent a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was listening that Abby was alive and healthy and in his arms. He couldn't imagine how he'd feel if he was facing the prospect of losing her and felt his heart go out to his stubborn friend.

"Has anyone heard from Becker?" He asked quietly, breaking the silence that had fallen over them. "He's alright, yeah?"

"We believe he's with Jess," Emily answered just as quietly. "No one has seen him since his encounter with Lester's driver."

That made him grin, even if it was half-hearted. "Did he really threaten to put the bloke in the boot of his car until he gave him Jess's address?"

"After promising to show him just what being hit by an EMD feels like," Abby added, lifting his head to give him a tired but nonetheless amused smile. "We're still not sure if he meant the lowest setting or the highest."

Connor snorted. "Typical Action Man. Bet he didn't even try asking nicely."

"Nice isn't in Becker's vocabulary unless he's talking to Jess," Abby pointed out. "He's still never brought any of us chocolate."

They were quiet for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. The relationship between Jess and Becker was one they all felt somewhat invested in, having spent many hours in the hub, watching the flirting between the two. It was less of a 'will they/won't they' relationship and more of a 'when will they' one. It was a sobering thought to realise 'when' might never happen – and to think of how the emotionally challenged Captain would handle losing the woman they all knew he cared for and some – Abby and Matt – suspected he'd even come to love.

"So when are we going to do this?" He kept his arm around Abby as she moved to stand beside him, gaze shifting from the machine he'd made to Matt. "And where?"

"The where's taken care of." Matt's expression and expression were solemn. He spoke softly, seriously, with all of the focus of someone mentally prepared to go into battle. "As for when, as soon as we've finished transporting the device. We're all ready to go. The bunker we're using is as ready as it's ever going to be and the lead-lined case we're going to use to bring back the specimen is already there."

"Lead-lined case? Will that be enough?" Remembering how easily the insects had eaten through the box they'd used in their attempt at containing the queen, Connor shuddered.

"The safe room and the menagerie cells were the only places they didn't get into during the incursion. We're working on the theory that it's because they couldn't," Abby explained softly. "The bunker we're going to is lead-lined, too, so if too many come through, we can isolate them easily."

"And then what?" Connor frowned, unease causing his stomach to churn. "What if they overwhelm us like they did the security guard..?"

No one answered straight away. Emily glared at Matt, while Abby lowered her gaze completely. For his part, Matt merely shrugged and took a step closer to the workbench.

"Matt?" Connor reluctantly moved away from Abby, automatically reaching for the case his invention would be transported in. "What's the plan?"

"There's a failsafe in place," Matt said eventually, his answer deliberately cryptic.

They worked in silence, carefully securing the machine in the case before heading out of the ARC. In Matt's car, Connor slid into the backseat, his hand reaching for Abby's over the top of the case secured between them. His fiancée gripped his hand tightly, her smile strained but her eyes determined.

For better or worse, they would face whatever happened together.

* * *

_Go team! ;) You'll be relieved to know the rest of the story is all planned now - so much so that in two more parts, I expect it to be done. Then maybe I can get back to Milestones II.._


	6. Chapter 6

The sand was warm beneath his feet, the tide that occasionally lapped against his toes cool in comparison though he'd grown used to it. Jess's hand was clasped tightly in his as they walked along the beach in companionable silence. She'd explained why she'd chosen the house and why it was so important to her. He'd grinned at the image of a young Jess squealing as she ran through the rolling waves but had found himself blinking back tears and clenching his jaw when the image of Jess as a child morphed into a that of a little boy with her eyes and his smile, chasing another child, a girl, along the shore.

He'd never thought of himself as the type who'd settle down with a wife and 2.4 children. His choice of career had meant such a future was unlikely, so he was surprised to find himself mourning a future that would never be, a future he hadn't known he'd started to imagine.

A future he was certain he didn't want with anyone other than the woman at his side.

Glancing at Jess, Becker felt a chill that had nothing to do with the sea breeze go through him. He knew it wasn't his imagination that she looked paler or that she was walking more slowly than she had the day before. She'd had to use two epi-pens in the last twenty-four hours to ease the symptoms of the onset anaphylaxis, once because she couldn't catch her breath and once because she'd felt so dizzy and nauseous that she couldn't get to her feet.

Both times had served as unwelcome reminders that although she seemed okay at times, her body was still trying to fight a war it could never win.

Almost back to the beach house, Becker kept a close eye on Jess, sensing something else was troubling her. The shift in their relationship had been effortless, a natural progression that only deepened what already existed between them and as a result, he felt more in tune with her thoughts and feelings.

"I think you should go." Jess waited until they reached the porch and she'd sat down on the swinging seat. She looked up at him but Becker noticed she'd clasped her hands in her lap to try and keep him from noticing how much they trembled. "The last two days have been perfect, or as perfect as they can be. I don't want you to stay and have your memories tarnished by what happens next."

Becker swallowed reflexively, pushing away the images his mind conjured of what was in store for Jess. He leaned against the railing of the porch, holding her gaze. "I'm not leaving, Jess."

"Not even if I beg?" A tear slid down her cheek but she made no move to brush it away. "It's happening faster than Doctor Richards thought it would and I don't want you being here when it does."

"Do you really not want me here or do you want to do what you think is best for me?" He fought the urge to go to her side, knowing the moment he touched her, he'd lose his focus. "I understand where you're coming from, and I'm touched you want to spare me but I'm not your father. I can't guarantee I'll handle it any better than he did but you've got to realise that whether I'm here or not, I'm going through this with you. It makes no differences where I am physically."

"Then it makes no difference if you go," Jess countered wearily. "Not really."

"Except for not knowing what's happening to you or whether you're gone. I know from experience my imagination can be ten times worse than reality. I'd rather be here with you than know you're alone and have nightmares about what you're going through." He already had enough material for nightmare fodder, having carried her through the ARC during their encounter with the beetles and watched her begin to slip away from him. "You asked me to leave. I'm asking you to let me stay. It's what I want, Jess. I'll go if you really want me to but I'm asking you to let me stay."

He knew the moment he'd won the argument when Jess started to tremble uncontrollably. He felt no sense of victory, just a bitter relief that he'd be able to spend as much time with her as possible. Closing the gap between them, he saw down beside her and tugged her gently into his arms, holding her close as time slowly slipped away.

* * *

The anomaly was open but nothing had come through. Matt had ordered the others to stay outside, watching from the safety of his car on the monitors linked to the camera he'd installed in the corner of the bunker. Emily had protested furiously as he'd known she would; he'd just smiled and kissed her before pushing her towards Abby, who'd wrapped her arms around her friend and held her back as Matt sealed himself in the bunker with the anomaly.

That was over an hour ago, and there'd been no sign of activity since.

There was no guarantee they'd opened an anomaly to the right time though his instincts told him they had. He kept his EMD in his hand just in case something unexpected came through but there was nothing; no beetles, no predators, nothing. He considered the anomaly carefully, a frown on his face. It was too small by design for someone, namely himself, to walk through but with a little bit of tweaking, maybe he could...

"Ah, mate?" Connor's voice was a nervous squeak over the radios they'd commandeered. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Matt asked as he started typing some commands into the laptop controlling the device.

"Looks like you're trying to make it bigger," Connor answered almost immediately. "That's not a good idea, Matt. We don't know what's on the other side."

"I do." It was his home, after all. The version of Earth he and his father had travelled back through time to prevent from happening. Matt took a step back as the anomaly seemed to destabilise for a moment before getting bigger and stronger in appearance.

"Matt, stop." Emily took over the radio, her anguished tone the only thing that kept him from stepping through the anomaly. "Think about what you're doing," she pleaded. "At least let one of us go through with you."

"It's too risky." He stared straight at the camera, imagining he was looking directly into her eyes. "If I don't come back in an hour, get to a safe distance and use the detonator."

"No, Matt!" There was a scuffle over the radio, then a pounding on the door to the bunker. "You don't have to do this! We could go together, you need someone to watch your back..."

"Emily." He looked to the door, tempted to give in but squaring his shoulders against the impulse. "I have to try but I don't have to drag any of you into it with me."

"Why? Why just you?" Emily hit the door again and he winced at the sound. "I know Jess is important to you, she matters to all of us, but I don't understand why you're taking this so personally. What happened to her is not your fault..."

"Maybe not but I should have noticed something was wrong. I should have remembered these beetles have killed people before and realised Jess was vulnerable." There was no way of explaining it to her when he didn't truly understand it himself. The protectiveness he felt for Jess, for all of them, took second place to his guilt. Guilt that he'd allowed himself to be so distracted that he hadn't realised something was wrong with a member of his team, that he hadn't noticed she was keeping a secret from him. He felt guilty knowing that Jess had been the first true friend he'd made at the ARC – the first friend he'd made in this time – and he'd let her down by not being there when she needed him. "I owe her," he said after a long pause. "Jess's done so much for me, for all of us, and I let her down."

"Not half as much as me, Mate," Connor said solemnly over the radios. "I'm the reason she's dying. If anyone should go through and try to save her, it should be me."

"It's not going to be you, Connor. He's not going through the anomaly." Abby's tone was firm but it was the urgency in it that caught Matt's attention. "None of us are. Matt, look behind you. Quickly."

He'd spun to face it before she'd even finished speaking, EMD raised as the gold coloured lights shifted. He held his breath, releasing it slowly when a creature passed through.

A beetle. A lone beetle.

Moving quickly, he locked the anomaly before any of its kin could crawl through, keeping an eye on the insect as it explored its new territory. Reaching for the lead-lined case, he used the lid to flip the beetle into it and sealed it firmly.

Beetle caught, he shut down the anomaly and hurried to the door, case in hand.

"Do what you need to to make sure that can't be used again," Matt instructed Connor. "We'll have Lester send a team to take care of everything else."

"Right. On it." Eyes wide, Connor brushed past him, quickly dismantling part of the device and unhooking it from both the laptop and the generator. As he did that, Abby moved around the bunker quickly, disconnecting the C4 packs from their wires and putting them into a bag she then slung over her shoulder. When he glanced over at her and grinned, Abby smiled back, hope shining in her eyes. "We're going to do this. We're going to save her."

* * *

The phone call was short but possibly one of the sweetest he'd ever received. Becker had answered the house phone when it rang, expecting Doctor Richards to be on the other end asking for an update on Jess's rapidly deteriorating condition.

Instead of the doctor, he'd listened as Lester told him a helicopter was on the way, instructing him to get himself and Jess ready to leave in ten minutes. A team would be dispatched for his truck, Lester assured him, knowing that the Captain wouldn't allow Jess to leave without him. Any personal belongings that they didn't need urgently were to be put in his truck, ready for collection.

When Becker asked why, he had to sit down at the answer, unsure if his legs would continue to support his weight.

"Why, Becker? I'll tell you why. Because your idiot team mates broke all the rules and opened their own anomaly, that's why. Because they retrieved a specimen and Doctor Richards has created what he believes will be an affective antidote. Insufferable man. I'll be hearing about this for weeks. No doubt he'll want a considerable pay rise since he can't share his achievement with his peers. He'll be intolerable, I'm certain."

Beneath the annoyance in Lester's voice was a relief that was undeniable.

It was a relief Becker shared whole-heartedly, more so when he went to tell Jess the news. Her theory that her condition was worsening quicker than anticipated was proven correct; she'd spent most of the morning sleeping fitfully, lost in bad dreams he couldn't rescue her from. When she did wake up, she was confused and disorientated, claiming to be cold when her skin was hot to the touch.

If Lester hadn't called, Becker was certain he would've been saying goodbye to her in less than forty-eight hours instead of the week or so Doctor Richards had predicted.

Refusing to think about that, he packed their belongings and put them in his truck before turning to her side. Sitting on the bed beside her, he took hold of her hand, lifting it to his lips to press a tender kiss to her knuckles.

Jess stirred, her eyes opening slowly. She blinked sleepily, frowning for a moment before giving him a weak smile. "Becker."

"Jess." The pallor of her skin worried him but he told himself it would all be over soon, hopefully with a far better outcome than either of them had dared dream. "Lester called."

"Hmm." She hummed noncommittally, her eyes drifting shut. "I thought I heard the phone."

Trying not to worry at the lack of interest, Becker squeezed her hand. "He's sending a helicopter for us. We need to go back to the ARC."

"Why?" Jess opened her eyes again, her expression more confused than intrigued. "Is there an anomaly?"

"There was." He moved her hand to hold it against his cheek after pressing a kiss to her palm. "They've done it, Jess. They brought back a beetle. Doctor Richards made an antidote. He thinks he can save you. You're not going to die."

"I'm not?" Jess spoke sluggishly, her brow furrowed. "I have to tell you, it doesn't feel like it. I don't feel very well."

"I know, sweetheart." Becker grimaced, letting his fingers trail down her hand to her wrist so he could feel for her pulse. It wasn't as strong as he'd have liked but fluttered beneath his fingertips reassuringly. "Just stay with me, Jess," he murmured, half-pleading with her. "Please, just keep fighting. Just a little bit longer."

"For you." Jess smiled but closed her eyes. "I'll try for you."

As she surrendered to her body's need for rest, Becker kept watch over her, listening for the helicopter. He could have cried with relief when he heard it, lifting Jess effortlessly and carrying her out of the house to meet it.

Matt's arrival wasn't unexpected as the team leader jumped down from the helicopter and rushed towards him, a worried look on his face as he caught sight of Jess's limp form for the first time. "Is she...?"

"She's still with us." Becker tightened his hold as if afraid Matt would try and take her from him. "But we've got to hurry. She's fading fast." Matt nodded and moved to the door of the helicopter. With his help, Becker climbed inside, still clutching Jess against his chest even as the onboard medic started checking her vital signs.

Jess didn't stir until the helicopter took off, her gaze landing first on Becker before she noticed Matt sitting beside them. "Matt!" She gave him a wide-eyed look. "What are you doing in the castle?"

"Castle?" Matt quirked an eyebrow at Becker.

"She's hallucinating." The Captain bit back a sigh, remembering how she'd once hallucinated about tigers at the ARC. He kissed the top of her head, uncaring as to who was watching. "Matt's come to take us home, Jess. So you can get better."

"Oh." Jess frowned for a moment, and then cuddled further into his embrace. "That's nice."

Not sure if she meant Matt coming for them or being able to cuddle into him, Becker stayed silent. He avoided Matt's knowing gaze, focusing instead on the woman in his arms, hoping they'd make it back before her condition got any worse.

Jess slept on, oblivious to his concern. She was oblivious to the flight she was taken on back to London, accompanied by the two men who'd been at her side from the very beginning of her life at the ARC, and was entirely unaware of their desperate prayers that the journey wouldn't be the last they took together.

* * *

_One more part to go, then we're done. Thank you to everyone who's stuck with the story this far - your support means a lot x_


	7. Chapter 7

After the first hour, there was little improvement. After the third, Doctor Richards noticed a slight difference in the results but not enough of a change to give the people waiting at her bedside the good news they were all waiting for.

He'd tried to be strict and insist on only two people at a time in the private room that had been assigned to Miss Parker but that had been difficult to enforce when even the ARC Director decided to break the rule. Lester had given him a disdainful look before pushing his way into the room, calling out an order over his shoulder for more chairs to be brought in.

There were never any less than four people in the room at any one time. While Captain Becker was a constant, the others seemed to take regular breaks to get food or drinks or use the facilities. Not the Captain. Doctor Richards hadn't so much as witnessed the man move an inch from his position at the Field Co-ordinator's side, his hand wrapped so tightly around hers the doctor wouldn't have been surprised to have to surgically remove it if things took a turn for the worse.

Fortunately, he didn't think that would be the case. After hour five passed, Doctor Richards finally had good news to impart.

"She's getting stronger," he announced to the group, who'd assembled at Lester's command. "There's a significant decrease in the toxin in the latest blood sample we took, which means the anti-venom is doing its job and working alongside her immune system to neutralise it."

"So she's going to be okay?" Captain Becker finally looked up from his study of the sleeping woman, his expression unreadable.

"I would say there's every reason to believe she will make a full recovering." Doctor Richards gave the soldier a reassuring smile. Becker gave him a nod in response before turning his attention back to Jess. The doctor was under the impression that he was no longer listening to the conversation, having heard the only thing that mattered to him. "She'll need plenty of rest," he continued, looking at Lester. "I know she will protest but her body has been through a hugely traumatic experience. She will need time to recover, which means no work for at least two weeks and, when she's back on duty, no working extended shifts, regular breaks away from her station and no skipping meals."

"She's been doing that?" Matt's eyes narrowed as he turned his intense stare onto the doctor.

Doctor Richards almost snorted. "Miss Parker is somewhat of a workaholic, Mr Anderson. Just like the rest of your team. I have mentioned my concerns to her in the past and will no doubt be forced to do so again."

"We'll make sure she takes it easy," Abby promised, giving him a reassuring smile but the glint in her eyes was determined.

The doctor nodded, approving of the idea. Out of all of them, Miss Maitland and Miss Merchant were the two he was counting onto ensure his orders were carried out. Well, them and the Captain, who he suspected would resort to drastic measures to keep the young Field Co-ordinator from over-extending herself during her recovery.

His announcement made, Doctor Richards excused himself to his office.

He checked in with his patient once more before he left for the evening, shaking his head at the sight of Captain Becker still sitting at her bedside, holding a lone vigil for the sleeping woman.

* * *

He'd insisted everyone else should leave but, with the exception of a quick bathroom break, he had no intention of going anywhere. Despite Doctor Richards telling them she was going to be okay, Becker wouldn't let himself believe it was true until she opened her eyes and smiled for him.

If he was honest with himself, he was a little nervous, too. Their relationship had changed and there was no going back. While he was happy with it, he was a little apprehensive about how Jess would react when she realised she was no longer running out of time. She loved him, he knew that. But whether or not she felt ready to be tied to one man for the rest of her life, being so young and in some ways so inexperienced in what the world had to offer...

"Becker?" Her voice was weak but loud enough to cut through his thoughts. "How did we get here?"

A grin broke out across his face and he moved to the edge of his chair. "Matt came in a helicopter. You thought we were in a castle for some reason."

"A castle?" Her confusion told him that was a question he'd never get an answer to but he was okay with that. As long as she lived, he'd be okay with anything. "I don't remember. I think... Did you mention an antidote?" Her eyes widened. "They opened an anomaly! What were they thinking?"

"They were thinking about you, about saving you." His hand tightened around hers. "I owe them. It should've been me."

"No. You were where you needed to be. Where_ I_ needed you to be, even if I didn't want to admit it." With her words, Jess absolved him of his guilt and assured him she had no regrets. "About what happened... What we did..."

"I hope to do it again." He smirked at the blush that immediately crept up her neck and flooded her cheeks. "I meant everything I said, Jess. I don't regret a thing."

"Really?" Her smile was bright and hopeful, exactly what he'd hoped to see. "If mean, if you're certain?"

"I've never been more certain about anything else," he assured her. "So if you're sure..."

"I am," she answered quickly, blushing when he smirked again at the speed of her response. She opened her mouth to say more but yawned instead, the hand that wasn't held by his moving to stifle it. "Sorry. I feel like I've slept for years but I'm still tired."

"Go to sleep." He reluctantly released her hand so she could shuffle on the small bed to get comfortable. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Jess continued to shift on the mattress but Becker didn't realise what she was doing until she tugged back the sheets. "You need to sleep, too."

He arched an eyebrow at what she was suggesting. "We'll never fit. It's too small for both of us."

"So we'll have to stay close." Jess shrugged a shoulder and tried but failed to stifle another yawn. "Please?"

Rolling his eyes at both her request and his inability to say no to her, Becker took off his boots and climbed carefully into bed beside her. It took some manoeuvring but they managed to squeeze onto the bed together, with Becker lying on the mattress and Jess lying mostly on him.

He told himself he'd stay until she felt asleep and would then return to his chair by the bed but knew after only a few minutes that it wasn't going to happen. For starters, her limbs were so entangled with his that he daren't move for fear of waking her and second, he felt his own eyelids grow heavy as he lay holding her.

Beginning to follow her into oblivion, Becker allowed himself to relax for the first time since hearing her letter read out loud. He could sleep and know she'd be there when he woke up, living and breathing and willing to share her future with him.

* * *

_And there we have it. Fluff, fluff, fluffity fluff. Hope you enjoyed it - and thank you for being part of it, whether you reviewed/followed/favourited or not._


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